Back in 2009, I played around with
describing myself in terms of the way the game Dungeons and Dragons describes
its characters. I've since explored variation
in the results from time to time. Here, I explore the details of what it
would take to describe me (in D&D 3.5) as the Wizard/Sorcerer (4/3) that
first came up in this frivolity. You almost certainly won't find this page even
remotely interesting unless you're amused by DnD.
There are two ways to approach the frivolity: one is to try to make
choices that would make the DnD-me resemble the real me as closely as
possible; the other is to consider which choices I would make, if I
were actually living in a world that works according to the game's rules,
given the rough sketch of me as start-point. The former may be somewhat hard,
precisely because our world doesn't work much like that of DnD; while the
latter is of course an entirely silly thing to consider.
As a general rule of thumb, I'll treat DnD's magic as sort-of-equivalent
to science and (particularly computer) technology, based on the somewhat geeky
nature of each in its world and absence from the other's world.
Regardless of my choices, I have (using the first set of results I ever
got)
The
feat Scribe
Scroll (one can't graduate from Wizard school without it).
although the last may get some enhancements from the choices
below. Most of the above wouldn't depend on the precise mix of how many levels
I've put into Wizard and Sorcerer, variously. I can read and write.
One of my feats and one skill point per level come from being human; which
also eliminates any penalty from my multiclassing. I move at 30 ft per round
when carrying up to 43 lb (i.e. less than 20 kg) and am middle-aged, albeit not
far from becoming old; in youth, my Str, Dex and Con were higher while my Int,
Cha and Wis were lower, by one each; once I'm old, I'll lose another one from
the first three. My height of 6'2" is 16" above base, so my height modifier is
16; this is high in the 2d10 range but entirely feasible. My weight is c. 107
kg or c. 235 lb; this is 115 lb above the human male base-line; dividing by 16
(height modifier) gives 7 (and a fragment), which is again high in the 2d4 range
but still feasible. I'm almost too fat (for my height) to be an
adventurer !
As I'm large and a bit tougher than average (Con and Str > 10), I might
actually be quite effective with a wizard's seldom used
quarterstaff; and I could probably pass
for a Monk, if I chose
to dress suitably (and my familiar is good at hiding among my clothes). The
confusion that might cause for opponents could work to my advantage; and some of
the feats it might make sense for me to take could enhance that confusion.
After
all, delivering
a touch
attack with
an unarmed
strike could both enhance impact and obfuscate just what exactly I did to my
opponent.
Choices
I get to chose:
a familiar
(available to me either as wizard or as sorcerer)
whether to specialise in a school of magic; if so, which school to
specialise in and which to give up as prohibited,
four feats (aside
from Scribe Scroll and Summon Familiar); and
the five first-level spells and eight first-or-second-level spells that
I have in my spell-book by now,
five zeroth-level spells and three first-level spells that I can cast
spontaneously, as a sorcerer,
along with various details like which weapons and equipment I carry
around and how I've spent the roughly 19 thousand gold pieces I can reasonably
be supposed
to have
accumulated by level seven. I probably don't wear armour (unless you count
the leather gauntlets I wear in winter – I should probably have those
enhanced in some way).
For the familiar, a
rat would be a good choice (it improves my Fortitude to +con+2+2 = +4);
but, in reality, no animal accompanies me – unless you count assorted
effigies; a china cat and a glove-puppet Tigger. (Tiger isn't available as a
familiar, although a Druid at level
7 can
have one as animal companion. Having a cat familiar (which appeals because
I like cats) helps an arcane magic user move silently; but that's not really
something I attempt often.) Then again, see the Improved Familiar
feat, discussed below.
I don't see any particular specialisation to match a schools of magic; and
certainly didn't make one at level one, which is when that decision has to be
made. Given the long association of draconic with wizards, the geeks of their
world, I guess that's a reasonable choice for one of my languages (albeit
loosely the game's surrogate for Latin, which I was taught without ever
becoming fluent). In reality, I used to be almost fluent in French, until
(lack of practice and) learning Norwegian displaced much of my vocabulary;
rolling with the general impossibility of matching game languages and
real-world ones, I'll observe that Scots English has a clear flavour of
Norwegian in it, so replace the common caricature of dwarves speaking with a
Scottish accent and use Dwarven as my surrogate for Norwegian.
Skill ranks
Each class has its own list of skills that come naturally, called class
skills; when taking a level in a class, its class skills cost one skill
point per rank; all others are termed cross-class and cost two skill
points per rank; I spent five points at each level, except level one when I
spent four times as many. I'm not allowed more than (character level +3 =
7+3=) ten ranks in any class skill or more than five (half as many) in any
cross-class skill. There's a good bit of overlap between the lists of class
skills for Wizard and Sorcerer, so it's worth classifying skills according as
they're cheap for both, for one or the other or always expensive. Of the
latter, I won't list all available skills, just a select few that I think may
be worth spending some ranks in anyway, or that I actually do have some
competence in:
This covers each of several crafts, in which I'd need to
take ranks separately. Item creation feats (see below) typically take a
relevant non-magical (but often masterwork) item as raw material for magical
enhancement; having a suitable craft skill can enable the magic user to save
on the cost of that, or to have it available when none are in
supply. Artisan's tools (especially masterwork) can help a lot with craft
checks. Some of the more relevant variants:
alchemy
Making assorted special materials and related
things. Technically, I studied chemistry (which naturally corresponds to
alchemy) until I was eighteen (it fell by the way-side to let me focus on
physics and mathematics); but that lead more to knowledge than skill !
An alchemist's lab (albeit expensive and heavy) can help a lot with
this.
Making and repairing the indicated types of equipment. Not something I've
ever learned in real life.
Knowledge (arcana) (Int)
Requires training. See below
(Wizard) for general remarks on Knowledge. Covers knowledge relating to
ancient mysteries, magic traditions, arcane symbols, cryptic phrases,
constructs, dragons and other magical beasts. I chose to treat it as cover,
in real life, the obscure details of information technology, with which I'm
reasonably familiar.
Requires training. Like Craft, this covers several cases;
I'm not sure which (if any) are interesting. Examples (found by
searching the d20srd): miner, hunter,
forager, bookkeeper, herbalist, siege engineer.
Requires training (i.e. must take some ranks to exercise
this skill). Obviously fairly important to all spell-casters; particularly so
for wizards, as some uses of this skill are specific to them. Skill in
Knowledge (arcana) can help with this; while this skill and Use Magic Device
can reinforce one another.
Requires training. Enables reading materials
despite not being fluent in the script or language involved. Quite useful for
arcane magic-users. In real life, I entertain the delusion that I'm
moderately good at this (all those years of learning Latin left me with
negligible knowledge of the language, but a peculiar ability to make guesses
about related languages).
Requires training. For Knowledge (arcana) see above, as
Sorcerer also gets it. In real life, I've devoted a lot of time and effort to
acquiring knowledge, albeit some of it more out of curiosity or for amusement
than for utility; at least the topics covered by geography, history and local;
a bit of architecture-and-engineering, nature and religion; maybe some
the-planes if you count astronomy as corresponding to it; otherwise
(dungeoneering, nobility-and-royalty) not so much.
Covers diverse ways of misleading others; feinting in
combat, creating diversions and pretending to be doing one thing while doing
another, as well as the flavours of lying that the term naturally means.
Covers walking on any kind of tricky surface, whether
because it's narrow, slippery or merely uneven. Related to Tumble. Confident
in activities with listed DC around 15, nervous beyond.
Covers everything from cliffs to trees. I spent much of my
childhood scampering around in trees; but never learned to climb
rock. Confident up to c. DC 15.
Covers (honest) persuasion, rhetoric and negotiation
(contrast Bluff) of both other folk and (wild empathy checks) beasts; oddly, I
seem to manage quite well at the real-world equivalent, at least with
strangers, even before I took a course in rhetoric. Reasonably confident up
to DC 15.
What it says. It's been a while since I've done much
jumping, but I used to be good at it (long bones help); and all that
tree-climbing gave me plenty of practice at jumping down. Again,
confident to c. DC 15.
My familiar gives me a +2 bonus on Listen, when within 5 ft
of me; combined with my wis=3, that gives me a +5 modifier without any
ranks. Given that I don't actually hear particularly well, that sounds like I
don't have any ranks in it.
Modelled on riding a horse. The game is absurdly generous
in how easy it makes that sound; enough so that my dex=3 alone is enough to
ensure basic competence in riding, which is as much as I claim.
Determines when and whether you notice approaching
creatures and the like. With a +2 bonus from my familiar and wis=3, I have +5
before I take any ranks, as for Listen; but I think I'm better at noticing
things visually (as long as I have my glasses on) than by hearing; and (with
my glasses on) I have fairly good eyesight. So may deserve some ranks.
Covers one's ability to avoid drowning and to keep going
while swimming. I've coped well with rough water and am fairly good at
holding my breath, so suppose I have a modifier significantly better than the
+1 my str gives me.
Requires training. Models agile movement, particularly
dodging the movements of others while moving near them. Includes the ability
to land more safely than usual from a fall, even when unexpected. I am
relatively competent at these things, although dex=3 can account for at least
some of that; still, I've danced vigorously on a ship in a storm during which
others barely dared get up and walk when they had furniture to hold onto, and
I'm used to dancing through the spaces between others on a crowded
dance-floor, usually without spilling their drinks. Five ranks here would
imply synergy bonuses of +2 to Balance and Jump, plus a 50% improvement in how
well defensive combat works.
Relates to all the things one normally does with a
rope. I'm reasonably proficient at knots but not especially so at the other
things the skill covers. With dex=3, it wouldn't take many ranks to match
that.
So let's try:
Skill
Class
Ability
Misc
Ranks
Modifier
Cost
Synergy ID
Spellcraft
W,S
int=2
+2[Ka]
8
12
8
SC
Concentration
W,S
con=0
10
10
10
Knowledge (arcana)
W,S
int=2
5
7
5
Ka
Decipher Script
W
int=2
5
7
5
DS
Balance
dex=3
+2[T]
5
Climb
str=1
+2[Ath]
3
Diplomacy
cha=3
1
4
2
Jump
str=1
+2[T]
3
Listen
wis=3
+2[rat]
5
Ride
dex=3
5
Spot
wis=3
+2[rat]
5
Swim
str=1
+2[Ath]
3
Tumble
dex=3
5
8
10
T
Use Magic Device
cha=3
(+2[DS]+2[SC])
1
4(+4)
2
Use Rope
dex=3
3
Bluff
S
cha=3
3
Craft (alchemy)
W,S
int=2
1
3
1
Knowledge (geography)
W
int=2
1
3
1
Knowledge (history)
W
int=2
1
3
1
Knowledge (local)
W
int=2
1
3
1
Knowledge (architecture and engineering)
W
int=2
1
3
1
Knowledge (nature)
W
int=2
1
3
1
Knowledge (religion)
W
int=2
1
3
1
Knowledge (the planes)
W
int=2
1
3
1
Each [bracketed] item in the Misc column is an indication of where
the preceding numeric item comes from; some are Synergy IDs from other rows of
the table; rat indicates a bonus from my familiar (if I had
one); Ath a bonus from the athletic feat (see below). Entries in
(parentheses) only apply to some, not all, uses of a skill.
Feats
As noted above, I get Scribe Scroll automatically due to being a Wizard; I
get to chose four others (one each at levels 1, 3 and 6 plus a bonus at level 1
for being human), and have two more coming at relatively imminent
levels. Potentially interesting candidates:
In parallel with the importance of the Craft skill,
enhancing equipment is
an important
business for magic users. They can save a lot of money by crafting their
own magic items and adding their own magical enhancements to existing items;
all of which is controlled by a relevant one of these feats (once the caster has
attained the level given for CL). The feats' names (here split; the verb links
to the feat, the nouns link to lists of the items to create) strike me as
self-explanatory enough:
ScribeScroll
(CL 1 – every Wizard learns this as part of basic training; included here
only for completeness)
Enables one to adapt a spell in some way, at the expense of needing to use up
a higher-level slot for the spell; numbers (in parentheses) beside each
indicate how much higher the slot is. Spells lacking the attribute improved
by a feat are not affected by it.
Reduces the casting time of a prepared spell, provided it could
be cast in one round, to instantaneous, leaving one's hands free to do other
things in the same round (including casting other spells); also avoids attacks
of opportunity.
When countering a spell (for which a counter-caster
normally needs to be ready to cast the same spell or a specialised countering
spell), any spell of the same school and higher level will do.
Chose a school of magic; gain +1 to the difficulty foes
experience saving against spells of this school. Has
a greater
extension that increases the +1 to +2.
Gain +2 on checks to overcome a foe's spell
resistance. (I could interpret the foe's spells as bugs in programs, to have
this model my ability to find and fix them.) Has
a greater
extension that improves the +2 to +4.
Skill-equivalents
Generally, these burn a feat to achieve
results that can equally (and in some respects better) be achieved by taking
ranks in relevant skills. Given that I have only four feats to chose,
compared to fifty skill points to spend, that's not generally a good
trade-off. However, they do avoid the limit on skill ranks and aren't
sensitive to whether the skill is class or cross-class.
Appraise and Decipher Script checks get a +2 bonus. Worth nearly six skill
ranks, as Appraise (Int) is cross-class – but not listed above because
it's not one of my high priorities.
Swim and Climb checks get a +2 bonus. Both are cross-class, so this is
effectively worth (nearly) 8 skill points. It's a half-way decent way to model
my greater proficiency in these two skills, relative to other strength-based
skills; albeit taking ranks in Swim and Climb would equally do that.
Spellcraft and Use Magic Device checks get a +2
bonus. (The result is a bit like being particularly good at working out what a
technology does or how it works.)
Chose one skill and get a +3 bonus on all its checks. May be
worth applying to one (or two) of the skills most crucial to arcane casters (see
first few lines of the table above).
Helps with various stamina-related checks decided by constitution. I have
done various long walks that I doubt the game rules would allow, without this,
with my con=0
modifier. Has Diehard
as a follow-on feat, that I certainly don't (presently) have; might be nice to
take at a later level, though.
This expands the list of available creatures to serve as
familiar. Since I don't actually have a resident animal, I'm eligible to
acquire a familiar (and lack the +2 bonuses to Spot and Listen
tagged rat in the skills table above), so this would be a reasonable
option to consider for one of my imminent levels. As my alignment is true
neutral, it imposes no constraint on the alignment of the creature I could
adopt; and I like the phrase Almost any creature of the same general size
and power as those on the list makes a suitable familiar.
A pseudodragon
sounds quite excellent and is, in any case, on the given list; I'm high enough
level, with alignment close enough to neutral good, to have one as
familiar.
So I think my two feats at first level (one all players get plus one
for being human) were probably Athletic and Endurance, acquired at the same time
as Scribe Scroll from my first level in wizard; at least, I had Endurance and
Athletic by the time I graduated, and could already write computer programs. At
level three, I think I took Craft Wondrous Item (which requires CL 3); once I'd
been working in my profession for a while, I became proficient at creating the
wondrous things (computer programs) it's expected to produce. For my feat at
level six, I guess Magical Aptitude (interpreted as noted above) is not wildly
unrealistic. That just leaves me to think think about what else to take at
level nine and my next wizard level.
Spells
My four levels in Wizard enable me to (learn, prepare and) cast spells up
to level five (Int minus ten); as a Sorcerer, up to level six (Cha minus
ten). My int = 2 grants me one bonus Wizard spell per day at each of levels
one and two; and my cha = 3 grants me one bonus Sorcerer spell per day at each
of levels one, two and three. (I'm not entirely sure of the mechanics of
spell-casting, so I'm not entirely sure of this next part; but I'm guessing I
can only cast, via each class's mode, the spells available to me via that
class's mechanism.) As a third level sorcerer, I know five zeroth-level
spells and three first-level spells; each day, I can (without needing any
preparation) cast six zeroth-level spells and six first-level spells (the one
spell each at levels two and three, from the cha=3 bonus, don't help me
because I don't know any spells of those levels yet).
As a wizard, I started out with all zeroth-level spells recorded in my
spell-book, plus 3+int = 5 first-level spells; as I gained each level, I added
two new spells to my spell-book, for a total of eight. Those had to be spells
of levels I could cast, but my bonus spells per day from int = 2, along with
my Int−10 = 5 spell-level limit, meant I could cast spells up to second
level from the start; so those eight spells are split between levels one and
two any way I want. (Even if I was allowed spells up to level five, I'd have
stuck with this so as to be able to use them before Wizard level
nine.) I might have transcribed some spells from other sources, too. Each
day, after a full night's sleep (eight hours) I can prepare (and subsequently
cast) up to four zeroth-level spells, three first-level spells and two
second-level spells; preparing them takes an hour, without interruptions. I
have to chose which spells when preparing (and can prepare several uses of a
single spell) and I can only prepare spells from spell-books available to me
– typically only my own.
Now, in reality, I can't cast any spells and none of the spells matches
particularly sensibly as an analogue of things I can do, so it's not sensible
to try to model myself; it's only sensible to consider which spells I would in
fact select, in each category, if I were really able to cast them. As a
Wizard, spells are only really useful to me in so far as I'm apt to have
actually thought to prepare them, on the morning of the day that I have
occasion to cast them. Spells that are apt to be useful randomly, without one
having any real chance of anticipating the need, are of little use to a
Wizard; but they're ideal for a Sorcerer, since no preparation is needed. So
it makes sense for me to have, in my spell-book, the spells whose use can be
anticipated; and to know, as a Sorcerer, spells whose usefulness can't usually
be anticipated.
Written by Eddy.