Two almost plausible ideas for saucy clothing

Among the stray ideas that have crossed my mind over the years there have been some doodlings about garments that might go some way towards assisting a young woman's ability to derail a man's ability to think. Two such ideas follow; I suspect they would be quite hard to realize in practice, but doubt this would be any obstacle to, for example, a cartoonist.

Magnetic clasps

It is possible to magnetise discs of iron or steel reasonably permanently. Embedding them in clothing implicates problems with laundry (subjecting magnets to heat and physical agitation is one of the ways to go about weakening them; and laundry equipment is commonly made of steel, to which the magnets shall tend to stick); it may be possible to circumvent these problems by making it possible to remove the magnets – e.g. if the garment has a snug opening into which each magnet is slipped once the garmet is clean – provided suitable care is taken of them until re-united with the garment. However, the important thing about magnets is that they attract each other, when suitably oriented, and can even do so across an air gap; so that they may be used as clasps where one might more conventionally use buttons or laces.

Fairly obvious applications arise wherever buttons would now be used. As with velcro, which would probably be better in such applications, magnets have the advantage (when considering saucy clothing) that simply pulling them apart works, without causing damage (albeit care needs to be taken to avoid letting them come close enough together to re-bind). However, magnets can also do something velcro can't: action at a distance.

This means magnets can substitute for thread: however, there is a strong limitation, since the force between a pair of magnets decreases quite rapidly with the distance between them. While thread pulls harder as it stretches, a magnetic bond weakens and is apt to simply let go. In saucy clothing that can be a desired feature, provided it only happens under the right circumstances; but that proviso does preclude obliging magnets to resist significant amounts of movement.

One of the basic techniques of saucy clothing is to reveal cleavage; a bra and the dress or shirt covering it cover what they do but may reveal a tantalizing view. Using magnets, it may be possible to eliminate the strap across the middle. This would doubtless only work for modest sized breasts, that effectively hold their shape with little assistance, so that the clothing is really mostly serving to cover, not support. However, in this application, I suspect they would have a spell-binding impact.


Consider a tape whose middle passes across the wearer's back just above her hips, comes round the hips on each side and down, passes between her legs and up her back, thence down over each shoulder to end on judiciously designed supports for her breasts. The weight of the latter provides tension in the tape to ensure it all stays in place; judicious variation in width and fabric can make it adequately comfortable while covering only what the wearer choses to. Having the tape cross over in the course of passing between the wearer's legs would keept the two sides in place when sitting down.

Mechanically, it has a major problem with the wearer bending forwards – this lengthens the back considerably – so the portion of the tape running up the wearer's back needs to be sufficiently stretchy. It needs to hold enough tension, when the wearer stands upright (or leans a little backwards) to not let go; yet not pull so hard, when the wearer leans forwards, as to cause the ends to break loose.

Each end of the tape needs to be shaped suitably to support a breast. This may be approached in many ways. In one approach, the tape can divide above, and form a loop under, the breast, with suitable shaping to cover what the user wishes to, leaving a tear-drop shaped hole.

The essential idea could equally be achieved by a three piece garment, comprising a stretchy back part that attaches to upper and lower parts, providing over-shoulder support (and potentially side-straps, too) at one end by, at the other end, providing the tension to keep the under-garmet in place with its side-straps only having to support downwards force at the front.

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